🧠 Understand Their Developmental Stage

• Concrete thinkers: They take things literally, so vague language like “he went to sleep” , “we lost him”, or “he passed away” can be confusing or frightening.
• Emerging understanding of permanence: Some may not fully grasp that death is final, but many start to around age 6–7.
• Emotional expression varies: Children may seem unaffected at times—this doesn’t mean they aren’t grieving.

🗣️ How to Tell Them: Step-by-Step Approach

1. Be Present and Choose a Quiet, Safe Setting

• Sit down at their eye level.
• Ensure there are no distractions (turn off the TV, put phones away).

2. Use Clear, Simple, and Honest Language

Avoid euphemisms. Say something like:

“I have something very sad to tell you. Daddy died. His body stopped working, and he can’t come back. We will miss him very much.”

3. Give the Basic Facts Without Overwhelming Detail

Tailor the information based on how the father died, but keep it developmentally appropriate:

• If it was due to illness:

“Daddy was very sick and the doctors couldn’t make him better.”

• If it was sudden (e.g., accident):

“There was an accident and Daddy’s body got very hurt. The doctors tried to help, but he died.”

4. Acknowledge Their Feelings and Allow Questions

Let them know all feelings are okay:

“It’s okay to feel sad, mad, or even confused. You can ask me anything or talk to me whenever you want.”

Answer questions honestly but briefly, even if they ask the same question repeatedly.

5. Reassure Their Safety and Ongoing Care

Children often worry: Who will take care of me now?

“I’m here and I’ll keep taking care of you. So will [other caregivers]. You are safe.”

❤️ What to Avoid

🛠️ Follow-Up Strategies

• Routines: Maintain consistency for a sense of security.
• Memory activities: Make a memory box or draw pictures of favorite moments with Dad.
• Books: Reading chidrens’ books about death can help them understand better and encourage them to discuss their feelings..
• Therapeutic support: Consider involving a child grief counselor or therapist for ongoing support.

🤝 Support for Adults

• Dougy Center (https://www.dougy.org/) – Offers specific resources for supporting grieving children
• National Alliance for Children’s Grief – https://childrengrieve.org/

Book Recommendations

1. “The Invisible String” by Patrice Karst

Themes: Connection, grief, reassurance

Why it helps: This gentle story helps children understand that love continues even after someone dies. The metaphor of the “invisible string” connecting us to loved ones provides comfort and a sense of enduring connection.

Best for: Helping the child feel less alone and reassured of ongoing love.

2. “The Goodbye Book” by Todd Parr

Themes: Feelings, reassurance, loss

Why it helps: Bright illustrations and simple text address the emotions of grief and saying goodbye. It acknowledges a wide range of feelings and affirms that all of them are okay.

Best for: Normalizing emotional responses and encouraging expression.

3. “I Miss You: A First Look at Death” by Pat Thomas

Themes: Understanding death, emotional literacy

Why it helps: Written by a psychotherapist, this book explains death while prompting children to explore their feelings and ask questions. It includes discussion points adults can use.

Best for: Talking through the concept of death and helping the child feel heard.

4. “When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death” by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown

Themes: Explaining death, different types of loss, emotions

Why it helps: This book covers various types of death (including parents), rituals around death, and a wide range of feelings. It’s more text-heavy but still appropriate for 6–7-year-olds with adult support.

Best for: Families who want to dive into deeper discussion.

💡 Additional Tips for Caregivers

• Read the book together: Sit with the child and read slowly, allowing pauses for questions or emotional expression.
• Use concrete language: Avoid euphemisms like “gone to sleep,” which can confuse or scare children.
• Re-read over time: Children often process grief in waves and may benefit from repeated readings.

📖 Optional Book with Spiritual Angle

If the family has Christian beliefs:

“Water Bugs and Dragonflies” by Doris Stickney

Theme: Christian metaphor for death

Why it helps: Uses a metaphor about transformation to describe death in a spiritual context.